The Narkoleptikos Brothers (from Jersey)

"Alright, Johnny, well this is it...Club Murmansk.

"Murmansk?  What the hell is this, Siberia?"

"Nah,  nah, Murmansk ain't really in Siberia, it's  just  on
the outskirts."

"Like what's the outskirts, what when you have five thousand
miles of frozen nothing and then you say the 'outskirts'?"

"Like the outskirts, like it don't qualify..."

"O.K., let's see what's in this place."

The Club Murmansk did appear shoddy from the outside.  It's
entrance  was on a hotel corridor -- a rusted door in the  middle
of  a thirty-foot reach of rotted wood beams all nailed  together 
at at anarchic angles, above which a cobalt-blue neon spelled the
club name, and a red neon formed a hammer and sickle and a star ,
each  lighting up in a five-second delay, like some of the  Vegas
ones  do, the cowboy getting lit up from his boots and  spurs  to
his  ten-gallon  hat, basketball-sized asses on  bicycles  riding
down the strip passing Joe Marlboro by, boogers being picked  and
spread on cheap Hawaiian shirts, the symbology of a palm tree  as
a  stalwart  penis going up a woman's skirt running  through  the
mind  of the bulgy bicyclist as he rides into the  sultry  desert

Alvin's confusion had lingered like a bad flu.  He  wondered
why, why, why were these strange things happening to him, and why
hadn't  the  Bowl Genie been so kind as to brief him on  what  he
might expect, instead of just handing him over to Johnny and  his
consort Savarin?  And then what exactly were these  Narkoleptikos
Brothers  and why couldn't anything stabilize in this place,  not
even  for  one day, and to hear the constant  bickering  whenever
Johnny and Savarin were together -- it was nearly intolerable !

Inside,  the  place looked like some kind of  shack  in  the
Siberian  wilderness, walls of dilapidated wood  planks,  plywood
tables  and  stools,  a small  stage  built  of  screwed-together
crates.  There were few patrons, most of whom seemed to be  in  a
stupor,  or passed out on their small tables. The trio  navigated
their  way through this junk pile to a table in the back  near  a
door marked "toilet."

"Great, what a dive this is.  How do get a drink in this  
joint?  Is that the bar over there? Savarin, my sweet, why  don't
you meander over there and get us a some martinis and a soda  for
junior.  There doesn't seem to be any help in this place."

"Why  do  I always have to do all the work,  hah?   Alright,
I'll get us something."

Savarin  walked over to a counter that served as a bar,  but
there was nobody behind it. A row of unmarked bottles and ceramic
cups  lined  the counter; she couldn't see any  other  supply  of
booze. "Well, what the hell, is they want it back, they can  take
it"  she  muttered to herself, and grabbed a bottle  of  a  clear
liquid  and three cups.  "I guess junior will just have to  start
early" she added while walking back to their table.

"What's this?" Johnny demanded.

"How  the hell do I know?  There's just bottles and cups  up
there, and it's self-service."

Savarin  poured them all drinks. "Now they don't  have  any
sodas up there, so this will have to do" she said to Alvin.

"Bottoms up" Johnny said, and they all sipped the mysterious

"This is some rotgut moonshine, I tell ya" Johnny concluded.

"But it has a weird pepper taste, like they put  peppercorns
in  it"  Savarin  replied.  Alvin made a face  of  disgust  after
sampling the odd drink.

"Yeah,  and it's got a kick, pow!" Johnny remarked,  pouring
himself another one.

Soon  they  had (with the exception of Alvin,  who  wouldn't
drink  any more after spitting out the first cup of it) put  away
three  small cups each.  A mental smog soon crept into them,  and
the  feeling  that  it brought, while  pleasant,  was  incredibly
disabling.  The couple who were so used to jousting verbally  sat
there  silently, except for a few diabolical giggles -- the  very
kind  that the mad scientist in a B-movie emits while  conducting

Above the stage, some dim blue incandescent light bulbs came
on;  2 tall men in charcoal gray suits appeared from a  concealed
door  behind  the stage.  One was carrying  a  portable  electric
organ,   the  legs of which he unfolded. The other man fetched two  micro-
phones  and  stands  from  a shelf  hidden  behind  wood  planks. 
Strangely  enough, he plugged the two mike cords and  organ  cord
into the floor.

"We are the Narkoleptikos brothers" they both intoned in a
grave, almost funereal manner.

The  brother  on the left played a  sour  discordant  tone
cluster on the organ. The brothers stood there almost motionless 
for  a minute, then, as the organ harmonies drifted in a  sea  of
atonality,   the brother on the right began singing like  a  tape
being slowed down:

"Oh....oh....oh...Moaaaaaan in Helllllllll..."

He  sang  progressively  slower, and  repeated  the  phrase
dozens of times.  Johhny and Savarin imbibed further, and  became
more ensmogged. Alvin plotted his escape, but wondered whether he
could  find his way back, given that the corridors seemed to  re-
arrange  themselves  at random.  Johnny started grinning,  and  a
fine drool started to work its way down his chin.  Savarin picked
--  no, more accurately, mined a booger from her nose with a  red
false fingernail.  Alvin felt queasy, disgusted by the scene.  The
moan song segued into another "tune" concerning with a  similarly
morose lyric:

"Been sleeping...in a sewer...LullllllllaaaaBYE, Ahhhhhh..."

Alvin  started to cry. The brother playing the organ  stared
out  at the poor lad behind horn-rimmed glasses: it was the  look
of  Rasputin attempting to stop the hemophiliac children  of  the
Czar from bleeding.

It was now or never, Alvin thought, and feeling that  Johnny
and Savarin would probably never know he was leaving, he  started
to walk to the exit.

"No, no, no" the brothers chimed at him.  As he was  nearing
the  door,  a  hand arrested him by the  shoulder.  Alvin  turned
around to find Jimmy The Greek smiling broadly.

"Hey,  if it ain't Johnny's little student, for  crying  out

"Leave me alone, fatso." Alvin said, trembling.